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LIFE-COACHING  EPILEPSY-AWARENESS  SOCIAL-CHANGE

Women in the modern business world

Financial gaps and inequalities between the two sexes, but between women themselves is a hot topic that is being discussed nowadays a lot by authors, political analysts, activists and NGO’s.

It is without a question a sensitive subject that firstly, appraises the improvements made so far in favor of women but also promotes the need for equality. The skill of women empowering, through online media such as Instagram and other social platforms such as blogging has proven to be a profitable deal. Thus, more and more influencers and bloggers focus on this subject daily using numerous tools.

My story is related to the above in various ways. Luckily, I do have experience in the financial sector, while I have struggled quite a bit with my career. To be honest, I still have not found the best job position, but I figured out what I love doing and I am chasing it. 

Women in the modern business world not only can thrive but can make millions. It is not a lie, that sometimes they don’t even need to have the proper knowledge or the relevant degree. Instead, just by having passion and confidence they can manage it. As long as they make the effort!

A short story 

 

Few days ago I received some very exciting news. My exam results were released and the grades were positive. I have finally obtained my degree for which I have been working for hard for the past four years. It is a satisfaction to accomplish a goal. It grants you the feelings of power and victory.

However, it feels much better when the goal fulfills inner needs and not just external objectives. In my case it started as a professional requirement but it resulted as a moral satisfaction. The degree can represent any goal in someone’s life; financial stability, marriage and family harmony, career development and so many more. We do not always set goals that are in aligning with what we love. Nevertheless, today’s fast rhythms, busy schedules and the constant struggle for work-life balance force us to set objectives that lead to success instead of self-development and self-improvement because let’s be honest this is how we will survive in this jungle of fashionable competition.

What I have learnt so far, no words of others can make you change your mind. If you want to finish something; whatever that is, it is up to you. I have struggled over and over again. I told myself that I will quit. I have been told that I will never make it through. I failed. I reached to a point that I realized that I might not love what I do but I owe it to myself to reach till the end. The best thing of all was that I understood what I am doing and why I am doing it. That was the moment I admitted the truth firstly to myself and then to others. That was the moment I reached the finish line.

Nothing begins and nothing ends, until we decide to.


The greatest challenges and most common reasons people worry about nowadays:

In this article I would like to share my worry which is associated with some of the greatest challenges of the 21st century and how to overcome.

Most common concerns of today are work-life balance, career change, unemployment, relationships and high stress level. Due to the fast rhythms of life people get stressed in an attempt to manage everything. Eventually we learn to live as machines. What characterizes the majority of the population is lack motivation to go after what truly makes us happy, as well as inability of prioritizing.

Is there a solution to the above problem?

The most common phrase I hear –and sometimes say- is I do not have time for this; this can be anything, a doctor’s appointment, a new hobby, a dinner with family or a night out with friends. We all have time. Life is too short. We just luck the ability to make a schedule and prioritize.

 

I sometimes start complaining that I have no time to go shopping or go out with my friends or spend time with my family due to work or classes. But then again I stop and think: How is it possible that I do not have time? Do I sleep many hours? Do I work more than normal? The answer is no. I just lack motivation and time management. Put priorities, have a daily routine and stick to it.

The most important of all is to manage and fit in this daily routine some time for you, doing whatever makes you happy. Find something that is only about you, fits to your personality and motivates you to keep pushing. Losing time from our friends, partner and family is what really causes stress and makes us worry. Imagine not talking or not seeing the people you love. It is normal to worry about plenty of things. You just have to keep contact. No matter what, do not keep distant from yourself and your personal space. Both are equally important. For me the creation of this blog was the beginning of a new chapter in my life. Not only had I created it because I like to write, inspire and motivate people but also it gives me a sense that I do something for me.

A nice thing to remember is that the best way to achieve life balance is to combine family, health, career and friends. Sometimes we need to step back, breath, get some space in order to realize who we are and what we want. TOO MUCH of anything is never good. It’s like cooking; the recipe will fail if you put too much salt or too much chili. Life too, is like cooking. Find the appropriate recipe and live a delicious life.

“Taking time to live life will only inspire your work”.


Chronic disease: How does it affect our lives and how to overcome the stigma

At the age of 12 and shortly after my mother died I was diagnosed with epilepsy. When I was first told that I am epileptic, I did not know what the meaning of this was. The moment I started to realize that it is a disease was the moment that seizures started to multiply and the doctors’ appointments increased.

The most difficult period was puberty, which is a very sensitive and hard period in each person life. My school years included mostly, seizures, doctors’ appointments, experimental treatments and what can be caused due to all of that. The fact that I had just lost my mother from cancer at the same period I was diagnosed with epilepsy, made things harder for the rest of my family but not for me as it took me a long time to process her loss.

Due to my condition, I also faced difficulties in my studies as I lacked concentration and suffered from loss memory. I remember myself fainting in the school yard, in the streets, restaurants, and cafes. I remember people asking what is wrong with me and sometimes looking weird or even being scared. I got very lucky as I had very supportive friends with me along this difficult way who remained closed to me and looked after me every time I felt bad or insecure.

To sum up, when going through a tough situation like this we tend to put a lot of burden on ourselves in order to look and feel stronger. We might get distant from other people because we feel the need to protect ourselves. We might feel reluctant of getting into a relationship because we feel ashamed of our situation. We might avoid going into events or social occasions due to the fear of criticism or even worse, bullying.

To conclude, what might help would be to talk it out, take time to comprehend what is happening, do not be ashamed of the situation, other people might be going through the same, stay close to your friends and family and people who love you.


Close your eyes to negative energy

Put yourself to wonder how many times you have been in the situation of being surrounded by people who cause you negative feelings. We all have been there, many times. This can occur either at work, either at school, university, social events, or even family dinners.

Negativity is the expression of criticism or pessimism about something. In this topic we will analyze the reasons that this occurs, the impact it has on us and the ways to overcome it.

Harmful or destructive behavior is mainly caused due to traumatic life experiences. Hence, an unresolved area that may affects our everyday psychology, instantly has an impact to others. For instance, imagine a colleague at work who may have just broken up, or someone who has experienced a recent loss. Imagine a classmate who is suffering from obesity or any other chronic disease. Put yourself to someone’s place that has just lost their job or has been cheated by their partner.

 

Heartbreaks happen every day. It is inevitable to avoid them. The point is how we handle them. A person who suffers from old problems and lacks the ability to resolve these issues not only damages themselves but also people who are around them. For instance, it is harder for people who carry on negative feelings to accept other people’s achievements and sometimes are more likely to feel envious. Surely, nobody wants to be surrounded by negativity.

So how do you overcome situations like these?

• IF the person suffering is a close friend or family member, we can (if we want to) offer our help.

• WE may ask them, to open up to us and express their true feelings. Conversation is very helpful.

• IT is best to not insult them or make them feel guilty. Most of the times they do not realize the impact their behavior has on others.

• IF the situation makes us feel uncomfortable or harms us in any way it is best to keep distance.

Thoughts can change a person's life directly. It is up to us to heal the wounds caused by any personal traumas we might have experienced.


You want to start your own business and currently working: are you thinking of quitting your job?

When I first created this blog, I got so passionate about it; I could not sleep at nights. I had too many tabs open in my mind and all I could think off was my next article. This happens when you get so close to your goal or your passion. Your time is valuable and everything you have been doing so far it is a task you want to remove from your agenda.

The issue here is: You want to start your own business but you are currently working. You immediately start to think that you should quit so you are more focus on your new goal. My opinion is to think again. Take advantage of everything you are given in life and find the way to benefit from it.

What are the consequences of quitting your job while you are in the process of creating a new business?

1. Lack of income: Sure, you have some plans and ideas that you want to achieve but until those become reality this remains just a hobby right? Your current work gives you a steady income, until your new business reaches its growth stage.

2. Lack of insights and ideas: Every time I am at work I get this feeling; that I want to escape and get immediately out of there. Nonetheless, this feeling generates ideas and insights hence new topics. It is not all about work; as we must learn to separate the two but let’s face it; most of us spend 10-12 hours a day at work. We meet new people, new mindset and form new habits. We allow ourselves to feel all kinds of emotions.

3. Too much free time is unproductive: The more free time you have the more unproductive you will be. When we allocate our time wisely we choose where to spend it, with whom and how. So at the end of the day what we do has a value.

The key is time management. Nowadays, people are busy all the time and stressed about almost everything. As long as you manage time properly you can get everything done.


Work-life balance: is it achievable?

How many times have you woken up and said to yourself: "Oh damn it’s 7", meaning you have to get up, prepare the kids, do the breakfast feed the dog get dressed (if you get the time) and go to work! Or, how many times have you said? "Oh no there is nothing in the fridge to cook tonight", meaning you were so busy with other things that you barely got the time to go to the grocery store or even do your laundry. Even worse, how many times have you said? “How can my hair look so shity", meaning you do not even have the time to shower? Actually I am saying that right now.

You see my schedule involves almost everything. I am a full time employee; I am a wife, a housekeeper, a mother of a dog, a blogger and a student! So I pretty much know the feeling. Of course including kids in the daily routine can be more stressful sometimes, but it all depends on being smart enough to balance work-life routine.

This pressuring way of lifestyle and lack of time makes us too comfortable with our lives and lose motivation. What happens in the case where we want to wake up in the morning and start chasing our goals and dreams? Do we live everything else behind? For instance, when I decided to create this blog I knew instantly that I would have to sacrifice a lot of my personal time. I did not quit my job, my classes, my husband, my house or my dog. But, every day I give a little more of “me” to something that makes me happy, my blog. Hence, everybody is satisfied.

The main goal is to make your lives better over time. I encourage you to take a closer look at your life:

1. Examine your life path, any loss of motivation you might experience, stress or procrastination. What is the source for this? Is there something you can do to reduce it?

2. Examine your motives and beliefs

3. Distribute your time and be efficient.

We are all able to reshape our lives.


How to discover your goals: Plan and take action in your life: A HOLISTIC APPROACH

Very often people set goals that are not in alignment with their values. In such cases you may not be satisfied even when the goal is achieved because the goal was not based on your personal values to begin with. It is not uncommon to not be aware of your strengths or values or even the goals you wish to set.

What many councellors suggest people to do is to try and identify their values and strengths, identify what they love doing as well as what they hate doing.

Afterwards it is good to question ourselves "what is it that i wish to accomplish in my life".

Lastly the most effective way to overcome is to build a routine and stay focused, prioritize, organize and control your time.

The constant rise of competition in the corporate life generates the need for additional success and acknowledgment. Doing what you love is not enough. After all, this is the reason why so many young people nowadays including me, choose to do what will bring them food on the table instead of what they love or what they are good at. My blog is an example of this. Of course let’s be clear money play a vital role between choosing to do what you love and what you must do but that’s another story.  

For example, if your parents are doctors or lawyers, the world expects from you to follow their example. Or, if you are getting married with a guy who runs his own business or he owns a high position in a big firm, the same should apply for you. What if you are not interested in the same field, or what if you just like to dance, or write or cook?

People are unique in so many aspects, yet most of the times we tend to copy each other. Firstly, understand yourself, accept your likes and needs and then set your goals. As long as you accept yourself and love what you do, then you do not need others approval.


Career change: How to find balance

I don't know if you‘ve been through it but switching from one degree to another or from one job to another is not easy. It needs time and patience. That’s what happened to me. A couple of years ago, I switched degrees as it was hard for me to get a job with my first degree. So I started studying again after finishing two other degrees and after long job hunting.

Eventually after many job interviews and a lot of rejections I got a steady job with a steady salary. But the story does not end there. One day suddenly, without a notice i got fired. Yet, it was the best thing that could have happened at that moment, because getting fired apart from getting a better job led me to what I do now. I realized that I like to write and motivate people.

3 steps to realize your goals:

Step 1: Ask yourself:

• Do I love what I do?

• If I did not do what I do, what would I be doing?

• Do I have to do what I am doing?

• Am I doing this for someone else?

• Do I have other options?

• Am I settling down?

• Do I dare to risk?

Step 2: The next step is to think! You don’t have to have the answers right away. It is good enough that you asked yourself. Review your answers.

Step 3: The next step is to act. Make mistakes! Do something! Many people think that this is the toughest part. I do not agree. I believe that finding what you love is the hardest of all. But once you do, the whole world is yours!


Limiting beliefs: How to overcome them and move on

My story:

This is my life experience. I was 12 when my mom died. She died at the age of 48. After 2 years of chemotherapy she did not make it. At the age of 17 I lost my father from cancer. It took him much less. It was only 6 months, but painfully the same. At least he suffered less. My mom was a tall, blonde beautiful woman with brown eyes. My sister says that my mom cooked amazingly well. My father was strict and straightforward. People say I look a bit like both of them. And honestly when I hear that, I feel the luckiest person on earth. This is my fear; I am afraid of losing people I love.    

The stages of moving on:

At the age of 17 I visited my first psychotherapist. After two very big losses it was the best thing to do. It did not last for long. After two years, and following a huge break-up I visited the second therapist. The same happened there. At the age of 25, I visited another therapist. Boy, this is boring! I started to believe that no one could help me. At the end of the day it is not their fault. They were all highly skilled professionals. I was the one who had the issue. I lacked acceptance.      

Last year, and after I got into a new relationship I visited the fourth therapist. She was not different. But I was different. I was ready to accept myself and make the change in my life and in the inner me. I am learning on how to listen. I am learning about communication. I am learning about acceptance. I am learning about love.    

 

Q&A     

How are negative feelings generated? Negative feelings or limiting beliefs are usually generated from a life story: a break-up, a death, a dismissal or an unpleasant situation.    

What happens when we have negative feelings? We get stressed and we do not enjoy the very important things in life; like love or the life itself. Limiting beliefs can can hold people back from success, happiness and fulfillment. They are difficult to spot on and harder to overcome.

How do these beliefs affect our life? They hold us back from realizing our goals.

How to avoid negativity and feel happier? 

• Identify limiting beliefs that you may have. For instance: lack of motivation, lack of enthusiasm, laziness. 

• Take control of your confidence.

• Ignore other people's opinion and concentrate on what YOU think of yourself

• Replace limiting beliefs with affirmations.

 

 

 


How do you find motivation

Do you like flowers? I like them. I just forget to water them. I plant, but then i just forget that i have them. I also like box, and bicycling. I started boxing lessons a few months ago. I was super excited. It only lasted a week. I also started bicycling. I promised myself i will do it once a week. I don't even remember where my bicycle is.  

I personally do not believe I am unstable but i am for sure impulsive. And i don't just mean about hobbies. It’s about most things in life. But then again i make a thought. Maybe is because until people reach their goal, everything seems so little and dull. Many people are so passionate but they fail to reach their goal just because they don’t’ know on how to begin with.  

Here are a few steps on how to begin with:  

• Share about yourself: Express your fear, needs and emotions. Express your likes and dislikes and your capabilities.  

• Support other people: Volunteer, listen to other people, motivate. Giving other people strength makes you look stronger  

• Accept yourself: Acceptance is a huge step and the most difficult. Not only because many people lack confidence, but also because many people lack knowledge of what they are worth of because they are doing the wrong thing.  

• Communicate: Communicate with your relationship, co-worker, friend, neighbor and pet. This step can lead to great paths as long as you know how to implement it.  

• Take time to learn: Learn yourself, learn your job, learn your family, learn a new activity, learn a new hobby, and learn new recipes. Everyone was once an amateur before they were an expert.  

Things take much longer than we want them to and sometimes we do not have the patience to wait. It is good to try new things until we reach our final goal and open our heart and mind to new opportunities.  

 


The three types of trust: Over trust, Healthy trust and Lack of trust

Jeffry A. Simpson writes: “Trust involves the juxtaposition of people’s loftiest hopes and aspirations with their deepest worries and fears.” This description makes it clear why so many people have trouble trusting: For them, the benefits of closeness and intimacy are overshadowed by the possibility of pain and betrayal.    

On the other hand authors Sanjay Goel, Geoffrey G. Bell and Jon L. Pierce in their journal article discuss on how people who trust too much tend to be overconfident and they often misjudge the risk of over trust.  Usually, the lack of trust or over trust originate from our childhood experiences and emotions like insecurity, anxiety, or avoidance.

Both scenarios make people suffer either for misadjusting either for being unable to intimate.  

I lacked the ability to trust due to similar experiences like the above.   However the best way to find out if we can trust somebody is to trust them!    

How to trust people?    

• There is always the chance of being betrayed or deceived. It is a risk, accept it.    

• Discuss. Discuss with your life partner, discuss with your friend discuss with your boss discuss with your family. If you make questions you will have the answers. If the answers do not satisfy you, ask again. Ignorance is the enemy.    

• Accept yourself the way you are rather than criticize them. Accept your needs and your feelings. Communicate them. Grow the belief that you deserve.    

• Find your purpose in life. When you reach your goal you will no longer feel the need to over-analyze things and people yet you will focus all your energy on YOU.      

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and can’t wait for your feedback.


How to deal with stress at work instead of quitting

My story:

I want to put strong emphasis on my experience of keep stressing at work. Generally, I am a stressful person in several aspects of life. Even before getting fired and ending up to another job I noticed that stress comes in many elements. It makes you angry, upset, it causes fights, and it makes you overwhelmed. Some people are led to overdosing or depression. I, on the other hand, turned to volunteerism. I entered a non-governmental organization which deals with people suffering from epilepsy. You are always welcome to visit the site of the NGO on: 

www.ibe-epilepsy.org

Amazingly, putting emphasis on something else other than work feels much more inspiring. I felt able to support other people, understand their needs, and get involved in their way of life.

In today’s post, we’re sharing a 4-step plan to reduce overwhelm, and do better work.

This is how we approach adjusting our roles:

• Go back and think why you started this job.

• Ask yourself what you want to focus on?

• List which responsibilities fit to what you like to do. If they don’t fit go back to step 1 and revise.

• Deal with other aspects of life apart from work.

 

It worked for me!

Thank you as always for reading! 

<3


Ignore and slide

How many people can you think of, who either chose the wrong subjects in college or accepted a job they dislike? I was one of them. A common question is why do people do this? This is very natural because most of us are busy coping with so many things that we rarely have the time to sit down and think about what is important to us.

In addition, it is in human nature to demand public acceptance. We rarely appreciate our own opinion yet we mostly give attention on what others think. As a result we may lead to a path whereas we push ourselves into doing something commonly accepted but not individually loved.

How to overcome with the fear of being judged and do what you love?

1. Be true to yourself. Accept your needs and desires. Identify your core values and strengths.

2. Identify unusual skills that you might have. On what do you often get complimented?

3. Try to ignore other peoples’ bad comments. Try to separate good criticism from disapproval.

4. Avoid negativity. If you realize that a friend, colleague or anyone else spreads negative energy try to avoid them by doing the opposite-spread optimism.

5. IT IS ONLY IMPORTANT WHAT YOU THINK OF YOURSELF, NOT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU.

 

 

 

Today's topic: Regrets


Establishing goals -Questions to ask yourself:

Have you ever got to the point where you watched your friend/ life partner or anyone else progress at their job and feel that you are left behind? I have, many times.

Every story I post online has taken place at some point in my life.

It is a fact that when we see close friends or colleagues thrive at their career or enjoy different benefits we automatically assume one of the two following things: that we may have been unable or even have not tried enough to accomplish our goals; hence we immediately assume that we are not good enough. There comes the feeling of jealousy and low self-esteem.

Still, this is an indication that we are not satisfied with our current situation and not an indication that we are unable to accomplish things. For instance one of our friends might have got a promotion or a very exciting new job. However, we are unaware of the steps they followed in order to achieve this, the topic they are interested in, the time they dedicated their skills and knowledge.

It is impossible to just want the same thing others have just because we assume it is superior to what we have. Instead we should focus to make great work on what we need or want to achieve.

 

In my opinion what is smart to do:

Ask yourself: 1.What would make you very happy? 2.What do you want to happen by the end of the day/week/month?’ 3.What would be the most helpful thing for you to happen? 4.What would make you smile? 5.How would you feel if you achieved your goal?

Follow the 5 step process: 1. Recognize your objective. For example, provide online services 2. Identify performance obligations and how to satisfy them. Make distinct decisions by researching your topic. For example, what kind of online services? What are the costs if I undertake this project? What is the time needed? 3. Remember that "Benefit is when we actually deliver a cause" thus the consideration for delivering a promise is the benefit for you. For example, I promised myself to deliver a service. Did I actually deliver this promise? Did it have an impact? 4. Assess your benefits. Remember that the benefit must outweigh the costs 5. Act by adding value. If the progress is slow revise the initial estimations.

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